


I'm Sorry

by TinyToxicBoxes



Category: Pewidepie, jacksepticeye, youtube - Fandom
Genre: Anxiety, Depression, M/M, Ow my heart hurts, Sad, self-hate
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-22
Updated: 2017-06-22
Packaged: 2018-11-17 04:04:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 824
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11267559
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TinyToxicBoxes/pseuds/TinyToxicBoxes
Summary: A short story on how media can quickly screw up a relationship





	I'm Sorry

Homophobia.

Stress.

Hate.

Self-consciousness.

Self-hate.

 

It all got to them. Felix had always been one to hide emotions. Sean had always been one to care too much. 

Felix didn't like himself. Sean loved himself. Felix wouldn't let Sean help him. Sean then got angry. 

Sean sighed. The two sat on opposite ends on the bed. Felix had too much stress, what with thousands of comments telling him to kill himself, millions of haters, Wall Street Assholes. Sean had tried to help, but Felix just yelled and said he was fine. They both knew he wasn't fine.

Neither worked well under stress. So, when an asshole took a picture of them kissing at the airport, they were obviously going to be attacked. They fought a lot more now. Small arguments turned into angry yelling. They usually would just agree to disagree, but not lately. Felix just slouched around more. Sean knew he was already down before the picture, but Felix was getting even more hate. He was scared when Felix agreed that he was stupid, that his content was shitty. Sean disagreed, and it turned into a full fight. Not fists, thank God.

~~~~~~

Sean looked back to the blonde Swede. Felix's back was slouched more than usual, almost like he was falling asleep. He then heard a quiet sniffle. Was Felix crying? There was no way, right? Sean turned completely and crawled over to Felix. They stayed still, Sean not looking at Felix's face. Finally resting his head on Felix's shoulder, Sean whispered, "I love you."

Felix nodded, "I love you, too."

~~~~~~

"Felix! I fucking care about you! Let me fucking help!" Felix sighed. 

"Sean, I'm fucking fine! I don't need your help!" That hurt, right in Sean's heart. It hurt even worse since Felix said your help. 

"I'm your fucking boyfriend, Fe. I want you to be happy, and we both God damn know you're not." Sean could feel his body shake from fighting back tears. "I love you so fucking much, and yet you still decide to yell at me. When I'm just trying to help! I'm fucking done with this."

Sean turned away, heading to the stairs and to their bedroom. Despite the calls of Felix, he slammed the door shut. Felix sighed and fell on to the couch, holding his face in his hands. He didn't want these fights. He just snapped, saying things he didn't mean. "I'm so fucking sorry, Sean." Felix gripped his hair as guilt and self-hate settled in.

~~~~~~

"Um.. I'm sorry, Felix."

Felix's heart had already broken in two at those three words. His stomach dropped.

"I don't think this in working out." No. No no no no no no. No!

"No, Sean, please don't-" Felix's could finally feel the tears starting up. "Please, don't leave-"

"Felix, this isn't working out! I-I can't fucking handle this anymore! You're not letting me in, and all I'm trying to do is help! We can't keep doing this, Felix." He almost said Fe. Almost. The nickname that Felix loved, making him fall deeper in love with Sean.

"Sean, I'm sorry! Please, let's just try-!"

Now Sean snapped. He was tired of trying. "No, Felix! I'm tired of trying! I'm tired of being yelled at when all I do is care! I love you. I love you so fucking much, Felix, but I'm not gonna try anymore. We're not as compatible as we thought.. I'm done. I'm moving out."

Felix couldn't hold back the tears that broke Sean. So, Sean didn't look at the other. He stared at the ground. "Sean-" he choked out, not being able to form words now. What he thought would be his whole life, is now tearing apart his heart. 

Sean finally looked up, a cold glare in his blue eyes. "I'm moving back to my apartment with Signe. We're done, Felix." He then swiftly turned back and went up to the bedroom to start packing. 

~~~~~~

Felix watched Sean carry the last box out to the car he had recently bought after he finally got his license. Sean came back to Felix, holding the house key Felix gave him as an anniversary present. They watched each others eyes. Sean's held a slight glare, Felix's were soft with pain and sadness. Realization that Sean was going to be gone.

"I love you," Felix said quietly, barely above a whisper. He hoped Sean would change his mind. He would help Sean again with the unpacking, with anything. He needed Sean. Sean was his center. His meaning.

"I love you, too." But Sean didn't hug him, he didn't kiss him. Sean put the key in Felix's hand and left with nothing more to give. Felix watched Sean. His heart ached during the fights, but now he could literally feel it falling apart. He could feel the pain. Like glass shattering.

Sean was his meaning, and now he had nothing. 

You really don't know what you have until it's gone.


End file.
